Don't Turn Away

latest

2006-05-03T12:50:59Z

me and jacob broke up
i dated kyle
we broke up
i like ALEX
no where yet
School sucks
i dislike megan
i LOVE TIA, DODD AND SEAN
they are my beefs
im becoming a slacker in school and need to step up and pass math
dodd and sean are dating
i was a little ehh cause i liked sean but its all cool cause i dont care
CAUSE I LIKE ALEX haha
and alex knows i like him
Yearbooks are finished [yay!]
jacobs a dick-he called me heartless, a slut, a bitch and a liar PLUS insulted me over and over again.
yep bout everything
oh chris moved
kerrys depressed
i miss nikita, i havent seen her in forever!!
tias moving to cali FUCK
yeah she ran away then came home so she has to live with her mom =(
im sad about that because im going to miss her a lot!!!
were going to become blood sisters
me and melissa tried to become blood sisters but i dont know if it worked or not!!
yeah! NOW THATS ALL THATS BEEN GOING DOWN PRETTY MUCH!!

cadaverxdoll @ 2006-02-26T14:24:00

2006-02-26T20:29:41Z

Well, i havent wrote in a bit. Maybe because ive been distracted?
well idk.
Me and sean are friends again, me and megan are not. Oh well, Shit Happens. Nikita and adam broke up again, idk why but yeah. Sucks-they were so cute together. oh well, again, shit happens.
I miss everyone at the park really bad. I wanna see them all. Well i hung out with Linda and Melissa Friday. We want and saw Fun With Dick and Jane. Funny but perverted and wrong. haha.
I miss Jacob really bad. And im horney sorta...*cough* ehem yeah.
Ive been thinking alot about the world. I hate it. Most people are full of shit and are shallow. Everyone makes fun of people because how they look and what they like then they say they dont do that. wtf?!?!
im in LOVE with jthm, it makes me realize how effed up the world is. Even though its a bit gorey and bloody and alot of cuss words but isent that the best part?? lol but it really reflects how the world is. Hahaha well, i suggest people should read jthm. yes. deffinately.
Lately ive also wanted to hang out with Nikita and my friend Sarah lately. I dont know why. Ive just been connected with them or something lately. O_o hmm weird eh? I want some chinese food. yum...or japanese food. yuuum *creams panties* haha j/k =]
well kbye!

Erm oh my!

2006-02-15T01:55:42Z

SO! i havent updated in a while. This weekend was fun =) Went over to Nikita's on sunday and spent the night. For Valentines and stuff. We saw the Notebook (very sad i cried so did Nikita) and we started Moulin Rouge (very awesome movie). Then we had heart shaped pancakes! yay! they were yummy (thanks to nikita)
So me and other people are in a fight with Megan. Yeah...dont wanna get into that so yeeeeeeeeeeeah.
I miss jacob REALLY BAD! and it sucks because its valentines day and hes not here...=( *boohoo*
schools been a pain in the butt >.> bleh!!!!!!!! and my family and i have been grrr with each other. everyone has!
so i got my haircut saturday also. its short. but cool i guess. everyone likes it. =D so thats okay. i'll write more later! idk what else to say...

uhhhh yeah

2006-02-04T00:42:58Z

Wow, almost a whole week has passed since Jacob left to North Carolina...it seems much longer though. I talk to him somehow everyday though. =] I cant seem to understand why ive felt like shit lately. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I guess because Jacob left...ever since he did...i havent slept at all, i dont really wanna eat much anymore...and i just wanna cry. I really fucking miss him and love him. No one can understand how much I love him. Impossible for Kate to love right? Because shes a bitch? Well, for all those ive been a bitch to lately im sorry. =[
I had just recently burned my tongue from eating egg drop soup. It REALLY burned my tongue, like half of it. I had gotten a sore or something. But i think its infected. It hurts really bad!!
today was an okay day...1st-we watched a gay ass movie, 2nd-uhh we didnt really do anything yay 3rd-we just talked about healthy food shit 4th-worked on yrbk, 5th-read more of Julius Caesar, 6th-got a 90 on a math test! 7th-computer, after school i found 5 dollers on the floor =D i took it, its now MINE! mwahahah yeah. lol.
so i havent gotten much sleep right? well im exhausted but im not tired. it sucks. im just confused, depressed, angry, happy, sad, emotional, and almost every other emotion....

Well i would like to thank some people...really...I would like to thank:
Tia-my bestfriend, my most trusted, the one i would die if she were to die too.
Jacob-for loving me for me, for being there, for acccepting everything about me.
Nikita-for taking me back into her life, for forgiving a misunderstanding, for making me laugh when im with her.
Melissa-for being one of my best friends, for being there and making me laugh always. For all the shit that went on in a few short months we pulled though.
Linda-For making me ALWAYS laugh with EVERYTHING you say. Youre amazing and wonderful and anyone would be lucky to be with you. Im lucky to have you as my friend =]
Amy-for putting up with my stupidness and weirdness and gracing me with your many mangas and such =]
Sean-for still talking to me after what happened, for putting up with everything this year, for liking me for me even though you thought i was just another pretty face before you got to know me. lol

god must HATE me...

2006-01-28T19:20:45Z

*Sigh* he left this morning at 11, i wont see him for two fucking years...whats a girl to do when the man she loves has to go to another state thats really far away? ...i fucking miss him really bad...

he went to NC this morning...hes leaving for 2 years...2 long years...and i wont see him until hes 18, God must hate me for taking away one of the things that means most to me...but i cant WAIT to see him again, i know it will be hard with out him here but we can try =] It will be awesome when i get to see him again

i saw him last night before he left, that was awesome

he gave me a hickey of death on my shoulder last night! lol

hahaha yeah...
JD and me stayed at Melissas last night, it was fun =] we were goofing off til 6 AM >.> and he was throwing pillows at me and mel and i went and hit him on the back cuz we were all playing and shit and i gave him blue balls...=o uhhh yeah that was sorta WEIRD lol chepp...

im sad/depressed and happy at the same time...the guy i love left but i know that im going to see him again so idk...

i fucking love jacob allan acrea with all my fucking heart

geh!

2006-01-27T00:01:57Z

uhm so yeah. Shits gone on =o. i thought Jacob was cheating on me possibly, but he wasent so we cleared that up! i have NO idea where he is though! =/ yeah. Some ass hole hacked into the network and deleted shit off the projects drive! =O! yeah i know, stupid fucktard! well, everyone in YEARBOOK was freaking because he deleted shit from there too! oh my! well, today tia helped retrive some files while stupid comp guy nuss did not do SHIT. the files were in the x: drive?! wtf! he didnt even think of looking there evidently? well yeah. he did a little bit, he found the files we were missing *yay* chepp. they caught the guy whos login it was on but they dont think it was him....
so last night me and my dad got in a fight! he called me a bitch and im like w/e! i am alright?! and so yeah i go upstairs and let all my emotions out! yay! i cried and cried. chepp, me and him "talked" so i guess its all cool now? or not. but yeah. melissa called, and she was crying too. so 2 chics crying on the phone =/ her and her mom were in a fight too! yeah shes dep. and her mom acted like she didnt care! =[ she wants to go back to green oaks and too tell you the truth i want to go there too...*sigh* i miss jacob terribly! haha yeah but im somewhat depressed too...=/ yeah schools boring as shit btw...well peace out and ill write more later i guess?
oh im spending friday night at melissas hopefully *yay* i love it there, shes one of my best friends! her linda and tia <333

cadaverxdoll @ 2006-01-22T17:18:00

2006-01-22T17:24:52Z

Alright, so i spent the night at Nikita's and were singing Kareoke =] then my lovely Jacob calls and she shit went down at the park...>.> of course I miss it grrr but yeah. Jacob said he was glad I wasent there anyways because he wouldnt have been there =p *sigh* hes going to end up doing something stupid ones of these days. =[ so yup. anyways at Nikitas we watching this movie in Japanese, it had Gackt and Hyde in it. It was a vampire movie =] but it had really not plot or storyline, so we were all like HAHA it was quite funny in some parts. but everyone was getting shot! It was called Moon Child (yet it had nothing to do with the moon or a child, but i guess the vampire thing was what the title was about) chepp so we go to bed and thats about it! oh nikita made some killer Egg Drop Soup (Chineseeeeeeeeeee foooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!) haha

cadaverxdoll @ 2006-01-19T20:25:00

2006-01-20T02:35:35Z

Okay, as a continum--
well i finished my mound of homework and even took a shoer *yay* im about to watch American Idol. =] yeah i know Im a loseeeeeeer! =p tis okay though. Jacob hasent called me yet, and he said he would so im kind of [worried] over nothing lol he applied for Walmart and since Doris works there she can help get him a job. Hopefully he gets one. he wants one really bad =/ so yeah. i was kind of wishing thats why he hasent called...chepp =D im going to get him this pair of shoes he really wants if he gets the job as a present =]
BECAUSE I LOVE HIIIIIIIIIIIM!
hahaha oh well American Idol time!
oh yeah school was rough then when i got home and yeah, the day or w/e got better =]

<33

cadaverxdoll @ 2006-01-19T17:45:00

2006-01-19T23:52:38Z

cha, 1st day back at school x___x *dies* it sucked so hard. i have a shit load of make up work and a shit load of make up tests a quizes!! grrrrr! and i have CRAMPS! AGH! >.> man i hate school, i dont know if ill be going to the park or not this weekend =/ i wanna see jacob though! oh well, these two days of sitting at home have been okay, i was chatting with nikita for a bit =] chepp, well off to do the mountain of hw! yay! >.

cadaverxdoll @ 2006-01-17T16:36:00

2006-01-17T22:50:15Z

alright, my first entry-woot!
yeah so im sick, i have strep. ive been taking these meds but they dont seem to be working >.> x___x damn oh well...=[ my throat hurts, both my ears hurt, i have a headache, i feel dizzy and shit, im sore all over, i feel like throwing up too >.< chepp...anyways
i feel like im starting to lose control over everything i had in control...im starting to get depressed too, its not really good when i get depressed. i feel like i have no control over anything and i hate that feeling because i get angry and have mood swings horribly. i think i have anger issues too...i fucking miss jacob, i fucking love jacob...i dont want him to leave me...he says he wont but theres still insecurities with me. i dont want to lose him, because it will hurt so fucking bad. he sometimes gets irritated with me and it makes me feel 5000000x worse just because im insecure with myself and i have worries about us. also i have to deal with my friends issues [god knows i make friends with depressed children like me who have hXc issues] but im glad to help them because when it gets better they really appriciate it. ive come to the conclusion with the help of tia that i should become a psycologist. and since im oh so great at helping people i guess i will. yeah well...i also fucking hate my parents anad i dont know why, every little thing they do pisses me off now. a sign im becoming depressed again...oh and im fucking up in school already...so i need to get to work seriously